Being sick sucks

Everyone has experienced it; the common cold.  And, most people will say that their cold is anything but common.

This cold that I have is a monster.  And I don’t care if other people have the same cold, mine is worse.  Yes, it IS a competition.

I have stages of a cold similar to The stages of dying.  First stage is denial. I am not sick.  I can be walking around with red puffy slits for eyes, sneezing and full of mucus; but I am NOT sick. As a result, I end up infecting everyone who crosses my path.  You’re welcome.

Second comes “shit, I’m sick”. This stage consists largely of whining.  I also like to be petted, waited on and kissed on my forehead.  Again, lots of infection going on in this stage too.  I like to share the love.

Next is the “I’m dead” phase, also known as hibernation.  This is the most dangerous phase for me because it is in this phase that I let my darling husband medicate me.  And I should learn after 17 years of marriage, but I don’t.  In this stage, I just don’t give a shit.  So he gets home from work and gives me a handful of over the counter medication and I take it.  Usually his cocktail is NyQuil, fake NyQuil, musinex, and maybe a benedryl.  I take it like it is nectar from heaven.  Now I am a walking zombie.  And not even a good zombie.  Good zombies care about brains.  I’m a bad zombie because not only do I not care about brains, I don’t care about anyone.  I don’t care if the dog needs to be let out, kids needing to be fed, laundry (ok, truth time, I never care about laundry).  I care about nothing but laying in a prone position with very comfy pillows.  I don’t even care about television.

Finally, I find myself in the apologetic stage.  Here I apologize profusely for being sick, being whiny, and need constant reassurance that no one is angry at me for being sick.  It is here where I refuse to take my Darling Husband’s ‘cold cocktail’ and start doing a few things for myself.  My humanness is starting to return.

When  all is well with my health again, I notice those I love around me being sick.  Do I treat them the way I like to be treated?  Hell no.  They have a cold.  Cold’s do not kill you,  so get up and go to school/do the dishes/ or do your homework.

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