Category Archives: Uncategorized

Being sick sucks

Everyone has experienced it; the common cold.  And, most people will say that their cold is anything but common.

This cold that I have is a monster.  And I don’t care if other people have the same cold, mine is worse.  Yes, it IS a competition.

I have stages of a cold similar to The stages of dying.  First stage is denial. I am not sick.  I can be walking around with red puffy slits for eyes, sneezing and full of mucus; but I am NOT sick. As a result, I end up infecting everyone who crosses my path.  You’re welcome.

Second comes “shit, I’m sick”. This stage consists largely of whining.  I also like to be petted, waited on and kissed on my forehead.  Again, lots of infection going on in this stage too.  I like to share the love.

Next is the “I’m dead” phase, also known as hibernation.  This is the most dangerous phase for me because it is in this phase that I let my darling husband medicate me.  And I should learn after 17 years of marriage, but I don’t.  In this stage, I just don’t give a shit.  So he gets home from work and gives me a handful of over the counter medication and I take it.  Usually his cocktail is NyQuil, fake NyQuil, musinex, and maybe a benedryl.  I take it like it is nectar from heaven.  Now I am a walking zombie.  And not even a good zombie.  Good zombies care about brains.  I’m a bad zombie because not only do I not care about brains, I don’t care about anyone.  I don’t care if the dog needs to be let out, kids needing to be fed, laundry (ok, truth time, I never care about laundry).  I care about nothing but laying in a prone position with very comfy pillows.  I don’t even care about television.

Finally, I find myself in the apologetic stage.  Here I apologize profusely for being sick, being whiny, and need constant reassurance that no one is angry at me for being sick.  It is here where I refuse to take my Darling Husband’s ‘cold cocktail’ and start doing a few things for myself.  My humanness is starting to return.

When  all is well with my health again, I notice those I love around me being sick.  Do I treat them the way I like to be treated?  Hell no.  They have a cold.  Cold’s do not kill you,  so get up and go to school/do the dishes/ or do your homework.

Why I am Thinking Purple and not Pink for October

In the past few years I have been getting more and more frustrated with Pinktober and more specifically with The Susan G. Komen Foundation. I truly believe that the Komen foundation filled a void when awareness regarding cancer affecting women was virtually nonexistent.  Now, however, they have, in my opinion, capitalized on the backs of the very same women they claim to be their cornerstone.

Recently two blog posts put my thoughts into words.  The first, http://butterbeliever.com/i-will-not-be-pinkwashed-why-i-do-not-support-susan-g-komen-for-the-cure/  put the pinkwashing of America under a financial microscope.  At first I wasn’t concerned about the amount of money being paid to executives.  I know that even nonprofits need to pay their employees.  But when I kept reading I was appalled.  Keep in mind this was written back in 2011, but I don’t think things have changed all that much.  As I read further, I was shocked at the Foundation for actually SUING smaller charities for using the word “cure”.  Pathetic.  This is a nonprofit that is running itself like a business, and that is not always a bad thing.  What is bad, is the capitalistic manner in which they are doing it.  By now, awareness is there.  Women (and men) know about it.  Why are they spending so much money in the awareness sector?  Profit.  Pure and simple.  There are countless products who rush to put a pink ribbon on everything it owns and people will buy it because they think they are helping cure cancer.  Not so.  We have pink tools, pink ribbons, pink ribbon jewelry, pink football jerseys, pink everything.  I adore the color pink, but please!  I’m nauseous.  A quick search on Amazon shows just a glimpse of some of the crap you can purchase to support breast cancer research and awareness.  Their definition of “awareness” is nothing more than advertising.  Similar to Abercrombie putting their name on everything that they sell.

The second post  http://graceless.me/not-for-sale-a-case-against-pinktober/   brought the conversation to a personal level.  What captured my attention here is that the survival rate for women with breast cancer has not been lowered since 1976.  It has, in fact, risen 2%.  The author discusses how she feels at being “whored out” without her consent.  And, I have to agree with her.  We need to change the conversation from awareness (read profit) to advancements in survival.

So, this being the beginning of October, I am not going pink.  I’m going  Purple.   Domestic Violence Awareness Month also occurs in October.  This is a cause that desperately NEEDS awareness and education.  Too many people blame the victim because they don’t understand the cycle of violence.  They don’t understand the stripping of support systems and financial resources.  And they don’t understand the actual threats of death to loved ones if they are caught trying to leave.

While I was in college I worked for a local Women’s Shelter.  I didn’t tell people about it; it wasn’t safe to.  I was a potential link to any abuser who was looking to find his battering ram.  Trust me, if you know me, it is hard for me to be quiet about anything that I do!  There was a point that I worked on the “Rescue Crew”.  This was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life.  Most of the time we picked women and their children up and all they had was the clothes on their back.  Many times we were chased by the person they were trying to escape.  And sadly, many times, after being safe for a few days, weeks, months, they went back to their abusers because they didn’t believe in themselves enough to make a life without the “security” provided to them by their abuser.

The cycle of violence is real.

Click here for a compelling story and diagram showing the cycle.

So many people ask the question similar to “why don’t they just leave?”

thehotline.org answers this question with a variety of REAL reasons.  if you, or someone you know needs assistance with defining abuse, making an escape plan, or leaving, this site is a valuable resource.  Locally, in Macomb county Michigan, Turning Point can help.

Yes, there are products that you can purchase that show your support for this cause.  Again, looking at Amazon, here are some ways you can show your support.  I find it interesting to note that while there are approximately 2,000 items for sale for Domestic Violence, there are 10 times that for Breast Cancer. nnedv.org has a user friendly list of things YOU can do to help create awareness for Domestic violence.  And they are simple; wear purple on Thursdays, talk to someone about Domestic Violence. Surely, we all can do that, can’t we?